The ball python that I had was a pretty stout one. It went about six feet or so, and was pretty thick around the middle. The snake had always been a very laid back snake, and was not prone to strike in the least. We had no small pets or children in the house, and the ball python does not get terribly large, so we did not worry too much about it getting out of it’s cage. Big mistake….

One morning I woke up and walked over to say good morning. When I did, the lid of the cage had been moved away just enough for the snake to get out, and the ball python was gone! No snake anywhere. I searched that apartment for hours. I started to panic a bit, because the snake could be anywhere. I wasn’t worried about the snake actually harming anyone, but I was worried that an escaped six foot python could alarm the heck out of the neighbors not to mention the snake itself.

After about six hours and several uncomfortable conversations with the neighbors, I gave in and when to work.

I got home that night and started to implement some of the many ideas given to me by coworkers. I tried putting out some food. I tried the ventilation system. I tried the heaters and ducts. I tried everything. After about six more hours, I gave up ever finding that ball python.

I fixed myself some supper, and then got myself propped up in front of the television for the latest “Seinfeld” episode. Then it hit me.

The television is often considered a prime hiding spot for escaped snakes because of the heat source. Not so much the television as under the television. The problem was, the only way to check it out was to stick my head down there and look. Now a six foot python that decides to bite you is not very fun. I figured that it would be a bit cranky and maybe a bit hungry as well. Not a good mixture when you are putting your face down into a small area.

I stuck my head down to peek under the television where there was about three inches of clearance. As soon as I did, my ball python bit me right on the nose. The strike nearly gave me a heart attack. I had never seen him strike unless he was eating and seeing it that close up and personal was a snake bite experience I would have loved to have missed.

I finally got him out of there, but only with the promise of food. I waved a little mouse (dead) in front of the opening and slowly brought it out far enough that I could get him behind the head.

I learned my lesson about escaping snakes that day. From that point forward, I always kept my snake safely tucked away and the locks in place. My nose is now healed, but I will never forget that snake bite.

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Of all the snake movies I have seen, perhaps Anaconda was the best attempt.  This movie starred Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson and John Voight among others.  Each of these actors brought some decent acting to Anacondas, and helped to make it a good snake movie.  The one thing about Anacondas though was that it was just far too over the top.  Suspending disbelief is one thing, but obliterating it is quite another.  This snake movie would have been even better if they had not made the snake and their capabilities so far over the top.  I like to stretch reality, not recreate it where snake movies are concerned.

What would have made Anacondas great instead of just good?  By drawing on the reality of Anacondas, this movie could have truly been incredible.  For example, the anaconda is pretty big to begin with.  They did not have to make the movie anaconda so large to make them scary.  They are huge!  Another point to make is that anacondas have been known to kill and eat small human beings.  For example, Jennifer Lopez sized women and children.  Having them be able to completely devour a human with a gulp was just too far over the top.  Why not make that more realistic?

Another key to making a snake movie great instead of merely good is to include more snakes.   Rather than having a huge one snake throwdown at the end of the movie, have the main characters be lured into a situation with thousands of the snakes.  That is infinitely more scary.

Finally, acting is a must in a great snake movie as it is with any other type of movie.  Why is it that snake movies, and any other animal attack type movies always draw second rate acting?  There are exceptions to the rule, but they are few and far between.  The vast majority of snake movies are very poorly acted.

Snake movies will always be a part of the horror movie landscape, but I hope that future ventures will work on bending reality and not simply recreating it.  I will be watching either way.

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Black Widow

Hopefully you are never unlucky enough to be bitten by a black widow spider, but just in case you do, it might be a good idea to know what to do.  The first thing in any venomous spider bite is to remain calm.  The black widow spider injects venom into your system that will spread much faster if you are panicked. Relax and know that you will be okay.

The first thing you should do is apply ice to the bite site. Wrap the ice in something such as a shirt, washcloth, or other covering and then apply.  Leave the ice on for about 9 minutes at a time, and then take it off for approximately the same amount of time.

The next step should actually be done while doing the above.  Transport the victim to the hospital or nearest medical facility.   Your job is done once the victim has reached the hospital.

When the spider bite victim reaches the hospital the doctor may take any number of steps.  These include muscle relaxants and careful blood pressure monitoring.  Certainly pain medicine will be administered if needed, and sometimes a medicine called antivenin is used.

Antivenin for black widow spider bites is called “lactodectrus mactans” and it is reserved for only the worst of the black widow spider bites.  The black widow antivenin is sometimes a problem with certain patients, so they are careful about who they administer it to.

The black widow spider is not always quick to release venom.  Sometimes the bites are “dry” or venom is not injected.  The black widow needs that venom to secure food and prey in the wild.  They do not want to waste it on a huge human that they can not eat.

Children, the elderly, and those in poor health are the most at risk group with black widow spider bites.  If you fall in this category and are bitten, you need to get to the hospital right away.  The vast majority of people that are bitten by black widow spiders recover fully and live to tell the tale.

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