The ball python that I had was a pretty stout one. It went about six feet or so, and was pretty thick around the middle. The snake had always been a very laid back snake, and was not prone to strike in the least. We had no small pets or children in the house, and the ball python does not get terribly large, so we did not worry too much about it getting out of it’s cage. Big mistake….

One morning I woke up and walked over to say good morning. When I did, the lid of the cage had been moved away just enough for the snake to get out, and the ball python was gone! No snake anywhere. I searched that apartment for hours. I started to panic a bit, because the snake could be anywhere. I wasn’t worried about the snake actually harming anyone, but I was worried that an escaped six foot python could alarm the heck out of the neighbors not to mention the snake itself.

After about six hours and several uncomfortable conversations with the neighbors, I gave in and when to work.

I got home that night and started to implement some of the many ideas given to me by coworkers. I tried putting out some food. I tried the ventilation system. I tried the heaters and ducts. I tried everything. After about six more hours, I gave up ever finding that ball python.

I fixed myself some supper, and then got myself propped up in front of the television for the latest “Seinfeld” episode. Then it hit me.

The television is often considered a prime hiding spot for escaped snakes because of the heat source. Not so much the television as under the television. The problem was, the only way to check it out was to stick my head down there and look. Now a six foot python that decides to bite you is not very fun. I figured that it would be a bit cranky and maybe a bit hungry as well. Not a good mixture when you are putting your face down into a small area.

I stuck my head down to peek under the television where there was about three inches of clearance. As soon as I did, my ball python bit me right on the nose. The strike nearly gave me a heart attack. I had never seen him strike unless he was eating and seeing it that close up and personal was a snake bite experience I would have loved to have missed.

I finally got him out of there, but only with the promise of food. I waved a little mouse (dead) in front of the opening and slowly brought it out far enough that I could get him behind the head.

I learned my lesson about escaping snakes that day. From that point forward, I always kept my snake safely tucked away and the locks in place. My nose is now healed, but I will never forget that snake bite.

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Of all the snake movies I have seen, perhaps Anaconda was the best attempt.  This movie starred Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson and John Voight among others.  Each of these actors brought some decent acting to Anacondas, and helped to make it a good snake movie.  The one thing about Anacondas though was that it was just far too over the top.  Suspending disbelief is one thing, but obliterating it is quite another.  This snake movie would have been even better if they had not made the snake and their capabilities so far over the top.  I like to stretch reality, not recreate it where snake movies are concerned.

What would have made Anacondas great instead of just good?  By drawing on the reality of Anacondas, this movie could have truly been incredible.  For example, the anaconda is pretty big to begin with.  They did not have to make the movie anaconda so large to make them scary.  They are huge!  Another point to make is that anacondas have been known to kill and eat small human beings.  For example, Jennifer Lopez sized women and children.  Having them be able to completely devour a human with a gulp was just too far over the top.  Why not make that more realistic?

Another key to making a snake movie great instead of merely good is to include more snakes.   Rather than having a huge one snake throwdown at the end of the movie, have the main characters be lured into a situation with thousands of the snakes.  That is infinitely more scary.

Finally, acting is a must in a great snake movie as it is with any other type of movie.  Why is it that snake movies, and any other animal attack type movies always draw second rate acting?  There are exceptions to the rule, but they are few and far between.  The vast majority of snake movies are very poorly acted.

Snake movies will always be a part of the horror movie landscape, but I hope that future ventures will work on bending reality and not simply recreating it.  I will be watching either way.

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I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

The black mamba is named after the black coloration of the inside of their mouths and not their body color. If you notice, the black mamba is actually a greyish color. Their mouths are jet black when they open it however.

The black mamba is also one of the largest venomous species of snake in the world. This African serpent is actually the second largest in the world among venomous species. Only the king cobra is larger. The black mamba can reach fourteen feet in length.

The black mamba is also highly aggressive. In spite of this fact, they will still attempt to escape given the chance. They are not interested in conflict with humans, but if they are cornered they are capable, and highly aggressive fighters. Never approach a black mamba in the wild or anywhere else. They can kill you in a flash if you are not near antivenin. Even with the antidote, the black mamba still can be deadly. Without the antivenin, the black mambas bite is nearly 100 percent fatal.

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Snake bite myths are something else.  I once was told this story by a person that obviously thought I knew diddily squat about snakes.  I laughed and walked away, though I should have informed them that a black mamba does not chase you unless cornered.  Even then, it will quickly take an escape route if given one.  I should have also told them that a black mamba does not kill you in ten seconds, unless it gives you a heart attack from the scare.

This story illustrates the irrational fears that people have about snakes.  The fact is, snake bites are almost always a case of someone doing something stupid.  Maybe they tried to kill the snake.  Maybe they stepped on it.  Maybe they tried to play with it.  I assure you they were not chased by it.

Snakes are creatures that simply want no part of anything that they can not eat.  They do not wish to harm people.  They can not eat us, and so we are useless to them.  We may be a danger to them, and so they bite in self defense.  Snake bites happen when we invade the reptile’s space.

The one exception to this rule might be the reticulated python or the Anaconda.  These two snakes could almost certainly eat a child or small framed adult.  The veracity of those claims is constantly debated.  What is certain is that many snakes can kill humans.  This does not mean they want to.

Venomous snakes bite purely in self defense.  If they feel threatened, they will bite quickly and forcefully.  The thing is, they sometimes do not even inject the venom.  This is called a “dry bite” and is usually because the snake is reserving their venom for food sources.  They do not want to waste their venom on us silly humans.

If you want to see the perfect example of people doing stupid things to get snake bitten, read all about this guy that got bitten in the face by a deadly pet gaboon viper.  It is a good illustration of how we bring snake bites down on ourselves.

The bottom line is that if we leave them alone, they will do the same.  If you come across a snake, ignore it and give it a wide berth.  I assure you, it will not chase you….. Even in Africa.

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