Snake movies have always been a wonderful release for me. Why? Well, in a snake movie you do not have the restrictions of reality holding you down. A black mamba really can move at about the speed of a cheetah and an anaconda really can grow to the size of a football field in a snake movie made in Hollywood. Science and the rules of reality are blurred in a good snake movie to be sure. Still, I am left feeling slightly shorted where snake movies are concerned. No snake movie has ever grabbed me and truly held my attention. What exactly would it take to make a snake movie that would do just that? What would make a good snake movie great?
Of all the snake movies I have seen, perhaps Anaconda was the best attempt. This movie starred Jennifer Lopez, Owen Wilson and John Voight among others. Each of these actors brought some decent acting to Anacondas, and helped to make it a good snake movie. The one thing about Anacondas though was that it was just far too over the top. Suspending disbelief is one thing, but obliterating it is quite another. This snake movie would have been even better if they had not made the snake and their capabilities so far over the top. I like to stretch reality, not recreate it where snake movies are concerned.
What would have made Anacondas great instead of just good? By drawing on the reality of Anacondas, this movie could have truly been incredible. For example, the anaconda is pretty big to begin with. They did not have to make the movie anaconda so large to make them scary. They are huge! Another point to make is that anacondas have been known to kill and eat small human beings. For example, Jennifer Lopez sized women and children. Having them be able to completely devour a human with a gulp was just too far over the top. Why not make that more realistic?
Another key to making a snake movie great instead of merely good is to include more snakes. Rather than having a huge one snake throwdown at the end of the movie, have the main characters be lured into a situation with thousands of the snakes. That is infinitely more scary.
Finally, acting is a must in a great snake movie as it is with any other type of movie. Why is it that snake movies, and any other animal attack type movies always draw second rate acting? There are exceptions to the rule, but they are few and far between. The vast majority of snake movies are very poorly acted.
Snake movies will always be a part of the horror movie landscape, but I hope that future ventures will work on bending reality and not simply recreating it. I will be watching either way.
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